I have a confession. For the last 15 years, I’ve been waiting for the right moment to turn my life around. I was convinced that things would be perfect when I lost weight or got a different job or made more money. I felt that once those things fell into place, my life would really take off. I’d start working on those goals and then would sabotage myself. I’d start Weight Watchers in earnest, only to fall back into old habits within a month or two. I’d apply for jobs but didn’t really care if I got them. I completed a 2-year coaching program, start a coaching business but didn’t give it my all. Why? Because I was waiting for the perfect moment when everything would be right, the stars in alignment, my chakras perfectly doing whatever chakras are supposed to do. Of course, that meant that nothing in my life that meant a lot to me ever got off the ground.
Looking in from the outside, I don’t seem like a waiter at all. If you talk to most people, they’ll probably describe me as very much a doer. I run half marathons, am very active in alumnae groups, and have an active social life. But the truth is that I wasn’t fully pursuing the things that meant the most to me. I’d put up a wall and only half-assed try to climb over it. I always came up with excuses for why I couldn’t do something that really matters to me and all of the excuses were total BS. I couldn’t pursue the business I really wanted because I didn’t have the money to really build it out and my niche was too narrow. I couldn’t date because I’m overweight. I couldn’t look a certain way because I didn’t have the money to get the clothing and makeup that I needed to do that. Every one of those excuses was BS and I knew it but I held on to them for dear life because to let go and really go after what I wanted would mean opening myself up, being vulnerable, and (GASP!) potentially failing.
I held onto those BS excuses and stories for well over a decade. Then I got a call from my mom that changed my life
“The doctors found some dark marks on your father’s xray.” Those words were the first sign that my family’s life was about to change in a major way. My father was diagnosed with Stage 4 stomach cancer that had spread to other parts of his abdomen. The next 6 months were a flurry of appointments, treatments, calls, tears, and a whole lot of praying. My mom and sister handle a vast majority of caretaking duties. I lived out of town but did what I could do from afar and went home whenever I could. I tried to keep things as normal as possible with my life and business but, quite frankly, it wasn’t possible. Something had to give so I let a lot in my business go. And you know what? It was totally worth it. Nothing is more important than being there (or as “there” as I could be) for loved ones. When my father died on January 19, a big part of our family also passed. For all of us, it was the beginning of rebuilding ourselves and our lives.
Honestly, much of the month after his death is still a blur. I decided to put anything having to do with my business on hiatus until I felt strong enough to put energy toward it. Even so, I know that I wasn’t in love with the business as it was. I knew I wasn’t pursuing it the way I wanted to and I also didn’t know HOW to pursue it. I felt lost and was drowning in grief so I didn’t do anything. No posting. No blog writing. No networking. Nothing. Nada. As strange as it sounds, that was probably the best thing I could’ve done for my business because the absence of activity gave me the space I needed to step back and reevaluate everything, including my priorities and where my business fit into them. But soon it was time to start moving forward and making some decisions.
My first major decision was the decision to stop waiting. My father’s death showed me that more time isn’t promised to any of us. I was tired of waiting for the perfect time that would never come. I was tired of feeling like I wasn’t living up to my full potential. I was tired of feeling powerless and, worse, guilty because I knew that I had all the power to make the changes I needed to make but I hadn’t been using it.
So, I got really honest with myself about what I wanted out of life and made a promise to myself to go after those things with a vengeance. I started investing in myself and my business. I forced myself to be extremely clear about what I wanted my business to be. I signed up for and took classes to help me build the foundation of my business. I hired a business coach and a social media & branding strategist to help me figure out what do with that foundation and how to spread the word about Tyche. I got a personal trainer to help me get in shape. My glam, makeup loving friend helped me with choosing new makeup and a makeup artist taught me how to properly apply it. I changed my mindset to be more positive. I started living life according to my priorities. Most importantly, I stopped waiting and making excuses.
What you see on the new website is one of the results of all of that. I’ve included some of my favorite colors and revamped an old logo that I loved. I went back to my roots and am focusing on helping fellow attorneys change careers so they can live more fulfilling lives. I am beyond thrilled to be living a more authentic life and running a business that is in alignment with my passions and values. And that all started because I stopped waiting and making excuses and started going after what I really want.
So, what goals and dreams are you waiting for the perfect moment to pursue? What BS excuses are you using to stop yourself from moving forward? Is one of those goal changing careers? If so, download my Career Transition Questionnaire or schedule a free 20-minute strategy call !
- Stop waiting for the perfect moment to make changes that will upgrade your life. There will never be a perfect time. Start working on your goals now.
- Give up on giving up. Making major changes require major decisions and a major commitment. Realize that making those changes won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it.
- Be honest with yourself about what you want and stop rationalizing why you’re ok with settling.
- If you can’t make big changes right now, start making small changes that will ultimately make big changes easier.